worrying and breathing and believing

I expected to get a bit teary eyed and maybe for Ethan to be a bit clingy...neither of those things happened today, Ethan's first day of school. Instead Maggie cried for 20 minutes because she "will miss brother Ethan" I am in the kitchen here trying to console her, but all she wants to do is look at Ethan's picture hanging from my car keys.

This is my journal pages from this morning followed by more first day of school pictures.

When Maggie calmed down we shared a snack of Stacy's Pita Chips and hummus (her favorite). She sat on my lap and we watched the trailer for Cars. Eventually she looked up at me, gave me a big hug, and said,

"Mama we are best friends!"

More "with someone" self portraits are here.

My first justBe...post is here

My post about Ethan registering for school is here

Comments

[Paris Parfait]

Oh it's such a big deal when they go off to school! You've handled it just fine - love the photos and your daughter's comment to you. Wonderful! Hope the school transition goes well for all of you. Sending a big hug across the ocean! (And sorry I'm so late in catching up and commenting - too many things going on last week). xo

[lia]

beautiful pics and heartfelt words. you are such an inspiration and I feel that whatever you put your all into (as you do), you will succeed. so good that you discipline yourself to record all of these thoughts/moments and to share them. I know that JustBe is going to be awesome and I consider it to already be a success! hugs, xxoo Lia

[tinker]

Your love for your children shines through these pages and photos. They're beautiful. I love that your little Maggie said that about you two being best friends - that is so incredibly sweet and so insightful of her, both worrying she'd miss him, and recognizing the alone time you two will have together. It's not easy sending them off to their first day away from you. I remember tearing up but the kids were just fine - 'bye Mom, see you later!
Your little guy looks happy and so grown-up with his backpack on.

It must be so scary and yet so exciting planning an event like Just Be - something you conceived all on your own and have been working so hard towards. It's no wonder you're feeling 'butterflies' - but try to just breathe, just be and believe - it will all come together just as it's meant to be!

[Emily]

Mel,

I can't believe how grown up Ethan is! He looks so much like pictures of Sean when he was that age. And I love that you took a picture of Maggie when she was crying. That will be one that she treasures having when she gets older. I'm contemplating making it my backdrop.

Anyway, Try not to stress about your conference. It will come together on whatever scale it needs to. If you need any event planning help or ideas, let me know. I am happy to help.

I love this page and all your thoughts, poetry and artwork that you post. I often wonder how it was possible for my brother to find such a lovely and talented woman!

Give the kids a squeeze for me!
Love,
~Em

[kim]

what a sweet post, perfect memories!

[Melba]

Thanks for all the love and support!!!:)

Ethan is loving school and Maggie cried just for a minute today, but then was happy to go home with Mama and create!

XOXO,
Melba

[la vie en rose]

go ethan and go mama! what a day!

keep breathing...keep believing...and keep sharing yourself...we're here to support you, to remind you that you are giving a wonderful gift to the world through just be... you can do it!

[Jana]

Maybe I believe in JustBe too much... LOL the idea of it NOT being a success doesn't even occur to me. I'm busy pondering what workshops I could go to... :o)

I'm going to have to look up hummus online and see what it is... this country girl of the group has no clue about all these "uppity" foods! LOL

Congrats on Ethan's first day... can't wait to hear how it went!

[amber]

Oh what a sweetie your little Maggie is! I love those words.

October 2007 IS a long way away! I wouldn't evev worry about it, love. Most people can't even plan for that many months away. Heck, by that time, I may even be able to swing it! I had it set in my mind that it was THIS October... So don't worry, because the souls who were meant to arive, will arive! It is that kind of thing. You just must let go and focus on the here and now a little. Like on your new alone time with your sweet girl!

:)

[Suzie]

I love that your daughter said that you were best friends, I think she just needed to know that without her brother she wasn't alone and then realized she had her best friend to hang out with. Beautiful!

I know very much what it's like to live with anxiety and can imagine the pressure of organizing such a big event that means so much to you. You've captured the attention and caring from so many people, I am sure they will be there to support you in all your endeavours. Breathe. Be. Blessings to you.

[Laini]

Great pictures! What a big day -- I can't imagine how nerve-wracking and emotional it must be to send your baby off for the first day of school! I hope he has a great time and loves school!

[jes]

OH~OH~OH....i just want to hug your worries away!

Everything is going to be just FABULOUS....I just know it is!

xoxoxox

[Nikki]

So sad.. They just keep growing up. My preschooler starts tomorrow. I am not sad for me. I am worried how he will feel without me.

[girlfriday]

Love that your kids miss each other ... but having the photo makes it all okay for the one at home!
Wishing you all the best for JustBe :-)

[SuZieQ]

Dear Melba, what a lovely Mum you are! You write so clearly about your feelings, I envy you that talent! My heart goes out to you, it's such an emotionally turbulent time sending your little one off to school... I hope he had a great day and that you all settle into your new routine soon..
If I was already in the US and had the funds, I'd be at JustBE like a shot! Believe that it will be a success - it can't fail to be with such a caring individual at the helm! Keep breathing, and Keep Smiling.... :)

xXx

[liz elayne]

how sweet is maggie missing her brother. adorable. and ethan has grown so much and is ready for school! fantastic!

you must believe. hope is a vital part of the journey. and hope and determination are a powerful combination.

blessings to you,
liz

[kerry]

melba, i admire the way you write through your fears and worries and so many other emotions you have crafted into such beautiful vents or releases. it encourages me. i wish for you more healing sleep and precious moments with ethan and maggie. that is my favorite snack too - pitas and hummus! :-)

[Georgia]

Ah!!! This reaches to the furthest cockles of my heart:) I absolutely love what kind of mom you are. And just so you know I am still totally planning on coming out next year:) I am even finishing up my little entry for the contest!!! :)

xoxox

~Georgia

[Caroline]

Melba,
This is such a sweet post. How cute that Maggie will miss her brother! I like all the photos. You are a very affectionate mom.

re: the conference. It's ok to be worried. That's your job right now. Some millionaire big stars still get freaked out before going on stage. That's part of their job. That's what makes them good. I taught for a long time and I ALWAYS had insomnia the night before school started. That was my job. Caterers (me) get hyped and nervous, especially as the day approaches. That's what makes them excellent.

Frankly, I'd be worried if you were not worried. You are doing your job. (But you might consider turning the worry volume down a notch, just so that you can sleep.)

I sense that the conference will be a beautiful success. It already is, Melba! It will be either a huge/confetti throwing thing, or a medium-sized and loving and intensly creative thing. Both will be so beautiful and exciting.

[Jessie]

Wow is right. the first day of school. i felt my heart go pitter-patter for your whole family. what a big change! maggie is a sweetheart. she loves her brother so much and her mama too. this post brought a smile to my face. i can't even imagine all the emotions that being a mother must involve. yep--double wow. today was a big day. i'm sending you a hug in celebration and acknowledgement of all of it!

luv,
j.
:)

[Tammy]

This was a big day and I enjoyed you sharing it :) Give Maggie a hug because soon she will enjoy the benefits of the one on one. Touching shots!

[mary ann]

sounds like you had a HUGE weekend & also 1st day of school for ethan! consider yourself HUGGED by me! YOU have to believe that justBE WILL be a SUCCESS!!!!! i have a gut feeling that it will be HUGE! so go on w/ your bad self & make justBE work! i'm right there behind you!

love, mary ann xo